By Attorney Frederick W. Penney Esq. *
It is that time of year again and the great loved Easter Bunny will come to millions of children’s homes to blanket them with candy and stuffed animals. As host of www.radiolawtalk.com I feel it is important that we touch on some of the potential hazards that the Easter Bunny must endure and some of the laws that he/she may be breaking (note I am not sure what sex the Easter Bunny is—if you know please contact us at www.radiolawtalk.com).
First, the Easter Bunny will be exposed to hazards of being injured while on the job. I am not quite sure how the Easter Bunny gets around without elves or reindeer to help like Santa has at his disposal. The Easter Bunny does a lot of hoping around, I assume he has jet propelled hopers or special magic powers. However, coming into someone’s yard and house that has dogs or big mean cats can be a work hazard. I think the Easter Bunny has special powers to make sure his smell is undetectable by other animals, but again I cannot confirm that. I think if a family knew about having a dog or cat with the tendency to attack bunny rabbits and allowed their cat or dog to not be secured the evening of Easter, they may be liable for injuries sustained by the Easter Bunny under a negligence theory of law. A savvy Personal injury lawyer may represent the Easter Bunny for injuries sustained while hiding eggs or delivering chocolate or stuffed animals to a home. However the homeowner may argue that the Easter Bunny was trespassing and as such assumed the risk of being injured by the family animals. I believe a judge or jury would not look kindly on the homeowner as the homeowners probably knew or should have known that the Easter Bunny was coming. Remember, these homeowner’s kids (or neighborhood kids if the homeowner did not have children at home) probably told them and as such the homeowner had a duty to warn the Easter Bunny or remove the hazard from the home (at least for one night). Remember, generally speaking homeowners can protect their properties but not with deadly force unless they were threatened with grave bodily harm. Unless it is the Easter Bunny from Monty Python there is no proof of such a threat. I think if injured by a homeowner’s dog or cat, the Easter Bunny should go after the homeowner’s insurance.
Now, another potential criminal charge the Easter Bunny may face other than trespassing, is stalking. Yes, the Easter Bunny is stalking the children probably trying to find out what they want or like, so if you had an aggressive prosecutor in a certain county they might try to press charges. The Easter Bunny may also be charged with second degree burglary for taking all the eggs from the chickens and possibly also charged with vandalism by defacing the eggs. The Easter Bunny, in an attempt to hide the eggs by coloring them, may be prosecuted for willful destruction of evidence. However, the chickens that the Easter Bunny gets the eggs from will more than likely not press charges. So the Easter Bunny is safe.
I wonder if there will be any issues with Mr. McGregor who may want to press charges for many of the above possible unlawful acts of the Easter Bunny? I don’t think so because Mr. McGregor is getting up in age and probably just wants to relax and be a good neighbor and share his garden. Well Easter Bunny, the hosts of Radio Law Talk have agreed to represent you if you need representation for free from any of the aforementioned charges or injuries (except Todd Kuhnen, remember his Radio Law Talk Saying–“if you pay my fee I will take your case.”)
*For those of you that are no fun, boring and cannot take a joke and are legal purists, the above was all done in jest.
